|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| Haven't been on here in the longest time (seriously, it's been like 2 years i think) anyway. Since then I've graduated from college, gotten a job outside of Seattle and moved out of my parents house. I'm in Parkland now until Saturday before I move and wishing like hell I could be out of it already. The commute is SO long so i have to get up before dawn. My roommate is still acting like a 19 year old college kid (even though he's graduated and 22) and has people over all the time until late at night completely ignoring the fact that I have to get up before 6 for work every Monday-Friday. Today I also got into a car accident that everyone walked away from O.K. but left my car all kinds of messed up. Still drivable but there is no passenger side front window and that door is completely bashed in. I also got off my anti-depressants about two weeks ago which just leads me to feeling miserable and snapping about little things. I know I should just stay on them but of course I don't listen to that and instead think i'll be fine everytime I get off of my meds. The thought that I could have to be on them for the rest of my life just scares me and I can't think about taking a pill every day until I die. Anyway, probably take everything in this blog with a grain of salt because probably it's just me talking crazy without my meds. But I had my heart hurt again, left the Tanglewood (where I finally felt at home with everyone) and am moving away from all my friends. And no one seems to understand that I'm really scared. Everytime I try and talk about it all I get is "You should be so excited!" And I am, but it is also really really scary. I still think of Virginia as my home and here I am in Seattle, working in the big city, far away from everyone I know and even Gig Harbor, where I have so many friends. Isn't it normal to feel scared?
| | |
| holy hell. i refound xanga.
| | |
| i have heavy boots tonight. not sure if it's just the late night or something else. i was taking a bath tonight, and i lost track of time. i guess i was in there for a while. one of my parents knocked on the door and waited for me to respond. as soon as i did they walked away without saying anything. i thought it was weird until i realized why they did it. just making sure i was still alive in the tub. thoughts like that give me heavy boots thati don't know how to get rid of. and the fact that probably no one will ever read this to know how i'm feeling. or that it's 12:30 at night and i can't sleep, i can never sleep. i lay in bed for forever, counting off the seven minutes it's supposed to take me to fall asleep...and then count of 14, 28, 56....still no sleep. so now i'm rambling to nothingness that no one will probably ever see and even if they can it will be morning and not as bad so it won't matter. | | |
| ok, so for everyone who felt the need to call me early this morning: YESTERDAY WAS CINCO DE MAYO AND I LIKE TO DRINK!!!! seriously, i got no less than 9 phone calls before 10:30 this morning and when you're passed out on a couch trying desperately to avoid the inevitable hangover, getting woken up that many times does NOT help. but thanks for thinking of me and wanting to call | | |
| you know how vh1 does that "best week ever" business? it's totally me this week. Sean sent me flowers, (purple irises and pink stargazer lilies, absolutely gorgeous) i found a free ice cream pop in the fridge at work for myself, and my shoulder...no wait that still hurts. not sure if it's ever going to get better. i thought it was but it hurts right now a ton and i didn't do like anything at work today. so that sucks. guess it's not really the best week ever, but flowers and free ice cream pops make me happy. i'm easily pleased i guess. which is totally a good thing. however, i am completely broke so if the IRS is reading this please send me my tax return cause me and my bank account need it!!!
thank you, love,
Meg | | |
|
